


W

by rabiddog



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Gen, Kageyama Tobio Angst, Kageyama Tobio Needs a Hug, Kageyama Tobio-centric, Oikawa Tooru Being an Asshole, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2020-12-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:49:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27828523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rabiddog/pseuds/rabiddog
Summary: Kageyama had made his decision.He was going to kill himself.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime & Oikawa Tooru, Kageyama Tobio & Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 15
Kudos: 356





	W

Kageyama figured out that he was going to kill himself on the 18th of November. As he was walking home from a late practice that day, it hit him that he really didn’t want to be around anymore - and not just in the sense of living in Miyagi and going to Kitagawa Daiichi. He didn’t want to be alive. 

Suicide wasn’t something that he’d thought about often. He was a twelve-year-old boy with a mind full of volleyballs and a heart full of gold, after all. He couldn’t have ever imagined that he’d be entertaining such a way to die. 

Though, that wasn’t like he’d _never_ thought about it, either. Because he had, he’d wondered what it would be like just to let go someday, to just drift away and let his eyes slip shut for a final time. He wondered if it would hurt and how much, if so. He wondered if anyone would notice or care. (Though, he doubted that they would.) He wondered how life would move on after he had disappeared.

And Tobio didn’t want to hurt his family if he did go through with it. That’s really what had been putting off the idea of even thinking about suicide. He didn’t want his mother, or his father or even his grandfather to cry. He didn’t want them to feel even an ounce of sorrow after he’d gone off into heaven, to spend the rest of his days. He didn’t want to put them through that sort of emotional stress. 

But it had, frankly, gotten too much for Kageyama. The taunts and the whispers at school had slowly begun to rise. People had seen the way that Oikawa hated him so dearly and had, in turn, decided that it was their right to treat him like nothing but dirt on the bottom of their shoes.

And it hurt. It hurt like an ongoing, aching pain deep inside of his stuttering heart. It hurt more than words could possibly ever explain, and Tobio hated it. He wanted it all to stop. He wanted it all to go away and never to come back. 

But, as he’d mentioned, it had only gotten worse and worse as the days progressed. Gone was any sort of happiness that he’d previously felt around some of his ‘friends,’ or even when he was playing volleyball. A hollow emptiness had replaced any, and each ounce of pleasure and Tobio had had enough of it, to put it bluntly. 

He was going to kill himself, and that was the end of it. 

* * *

Letters. Letters had been the first thing that Kageyama had thought of, just a day after he’d decided his soon-coming fate. 

It was the perfect way to leave something behind, wasn’t it? Just small, short letters – something that he could leave in a drawer for his parents, or somebody, to find and then give out. And not too many, either. It wasn’t like he had that many people to talk to or about. Nobody really liked him any more, and especially not Oikawa. 

So, Tobio had sat at his desk when he’d returned home from school (having skipped his latest volleyball practice), and he’d gotten out his pen and a notebook. Just five people. Just five letters. Not much writing.

__

_“Dear mom...”_

_“Dear dad...”_

_“Dear grandpa...”_

_“Dear Iwaizumi-san...”_

_“Dear Oikawa...”_

Short sentences, just briefly mentioning how he would miss them. How they meant a lot to him, and that he was thankful for everything that they’d done for him, in the end. (Tobio also asked them not to blame themselves, even if they might not have anyway.)

He’d slipped them into his lowest drawer, closed it up, and then gone to sleep. Tomorrow would be the day, that much he was sure of. 

* * *

“Oikawa-san?” 

Oikawa Tooru, in all of his blinding glory and glistening smiles, glanced down towards Kageyama with the utmost of dismissive, bland expressions. He had absolutely no interest in talking to Tobio or entertaining anything that he may ask of him. In all honesty, he was _tired_ of having to listen to his little kohai beg and beg for a serve. 

“I’m not going to teach you today, my dear Tobio-chan.” Tooru drawled slowly, ignoring the glare that Iwaizumi had most definitely directed at him. (Gosh, could Hajime just get off of his back for a moment? Oikawa was allowed to dislike people. Especially somebody as annoying as Tobio.) 

Kageyama slowly shook his head, his lower lip worrying between his teeth. “No. I don’t want you to teach me how to serve today.” 

Tooru’s eyes widened. That was new. Kageyama had made it his personal mission to bug the older boy about teaching him his serve, and to switch it up so suddenly? 

Oikawa couldn’t help the small pang of worry bubbling in his heart. It was probably just irrational, but... this was odd. Odder than he would’ve thought it to be. Though then again, worrying was terrible for his skin, and so it would just be better to brush it off. Right? No point in dwelling on it, after all. 

“Oh?” 

Tobio nodded somewhat, small hands wringing in front of himself as he shuffled on the spot. “I just wanted to say thank you for everything. You’ve done a lot for me and- and uhm. I really admire you as a person. Thank you, Oikawa-san!” He shouted, lowering himself into a heavy bow. 

Tooru rolled his eyes. Yeah, there was clearly nothing wrong with Kageyama if he was acting like _this._

“Right, right. Get up now, Tobio-chan. You’re embarrassing me.” He sighed, shooting his own glare at Hajime, who appeared to be snickering to the side. 

Kageyama straightened. “Sorry, Oikawa-san! Goodbye!” 

Tooru watched as Kageyama began to rush out of the sports hall, his backpack gripped within his clutching hands. 

“Good... bye?” 

.

* * *

.

The knowledge of Kageyama Tobio’s suicide hit the school just a few days later. 

Oikawa wondered if he could have done something to change the events that unfolded.

**Author's Note:**

> CC: [Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.me/rabiddogs)  
> Twitter: [Wilbyz](https://twitter.com/wiIbyz)


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